Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Humble Beginnings

    I've been trying to come up with a good way to start my blog. Waiting for the right inspiration at just the right moment. I guess this is as close as I'm going to get.....

   I went for a drive today on my day off. A simple drive in my car, but with a heavy heart, I went to the house where I grew up in the North Valley of Albuquerque. 400 Camino del Bosque to be exact. I've been living in the East Heights for a few years now and since then my mom has moved away from that fabled house. The house is no longer in our family after twenty-four years and now it is in great disrepair which is a hard thing for me to see. It's hard to look around and not be able go inside. The thought that none of the property belongs to us anymore is unbelievable! 

. As I visited the house on Camino del Bosque, I remembered all of the great feelings I've had there throughout my life. The feelings of love and sanctity that came with being a child in a seemingly new world. The feelings that my father and mother gave to us as they taught my brothers and I all of the little things we need to know to become men. Now as a man, I understand that change is part of the process of all life becoming new again. I've felt the hurt that change sometimes brings as looked at the house that meant so much to me, but I know that it's not really gone forever. I know I have my more miles to go with so many more places and feelings like the ones had there. I know that I will to move with the changes so as to make room for the new.

  I am buying my first house this month and can only hope it will bring out the same feelings that Camino did. I also know that someday in a more perfect way, without all of the hardships and struggles that I carry in my mind, I will get to go back to those days and times when the world was so calm, seemingly small, and perfect. It will be with just simply the feeling of love, and that's where I'm ultimately headed. I'm headed to a place of oneness where I am a part of everything including the house and all the other places that I've had to let go of. They're all part of me literally and I will return to them again.

    I go through life with an excitement for what is yet to come.  So, for now I get to keep my memories of growing up and realize the process has given me so much to be thankful for. I choose to let go of the past and know that it is a part of a beautiful process that never ends. As much as it hurts to look at changes in the face, accepting them is a choice I can make. We have all gone through changes and experienced loss in some way, but we can all search for the feeling of love hidden in the mix. The feeling of love is everywhere, even in the worst of hurts, and letting go can be a beautiful freedom for the soul.

   Here's to my humble beginnings at Camino del Bosque, to all the people that have sprung out of my life there, to the lessons learned, and for the simple love of the journey ahead.....

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